Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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