she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
