Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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