Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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