at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
