her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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