Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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