just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
