How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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