went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
