I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
