I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
