You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
