whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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