is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
