I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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