i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
