Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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