DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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