Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
