Yo dont text me then not text me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
