I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
