butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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