do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Congratulations! We have a period
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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