wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
