When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
