how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
