I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
