i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I intend to get homeless drunk
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
