A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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