so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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