After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
