Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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