Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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