Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
