Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
