Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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