Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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