God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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