yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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