It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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