I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
