I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They took my balls.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
