I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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