Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
