Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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