with your own penis?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
