in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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