i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
