can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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