Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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